Happy Father’s Day!

First off, let me start with thanking my heavenly Father for this day and everyone. Without Him, I have nothing, I am nothing, I have no one, and am no one. So, I guess I should say Happy Father’s day to him as well!

I also want to wish a very Happy Father’s day to my own father. Happy Father’s Day! Without you, I literally wouldn’t be here. I know we don’t always get along and sometimes I’m stubborn, (wonder where I get that from, HA!), but I do want you to know that I value you. I appreciate you, love and miss you. I think of you and pray for you often. I think often of being a little girl who had to most awesome kiddie condo ever thanks to her daddy. I wish I still had that thing. I have a picture of it somewhere though I don’t have it handy or I’d share. To give everyone an idea, it was a two story structure, with a “garage” at the bottom, and a kitchen at the top. I had a sesame street table that I kept inside, as well as a pretend coffee maker…(Oh, Starbucks, you sly devil, you!), and a window inside my kitchen. I could stay in that thing forever! I hope someday I can do something similar for my daughter. The reason I point to this memory is because not only did you not settle for the standard swing set, but you concocted from your own imagination something that still has me thinking about it more than 2 decades (Oh gawd, am I that old already?) later. I may not have my kiddie condo anymore but I have the memory. Until I lose that, to me, I still have it. I love that you built something special, just for me that I guarantee no one else had. I hope to live up to that idea as a parent. In some ways, I live to the standard of your motto: “Adapt, migrate, or die.” I, like you, don’t believe in settling for less and give anything I put my mind to my absolute best. I have so many other memories to share, but overall, I just want to say thank you for being you. I love you, and hope you have a wonderful father’s day.

I have to give a big thank you to my stepdad, also. You are not my blood but treat me as your own. You stepped up to a plate you didn’t have to. We fought, A LOT when I was growing up, and boy did I hate you then but never did I realize how much those moments would mean to me now. You’ve instilled in me things that I wouldn’t trade for the world. I was talking the other day about how it finally clicked for me one day when I was maybe 16 or 17. I realized that I screwed myself and nobody was going to rescue me. I lost my opportunity to get scholarships for college, or even get a mediocre job for that matter. I brought home a report card that reflected that I didn’t care, and I didn’t need to hear it from you because I was already beating myself up. The mistakes I made through high school were costly but I needed to fall on my face before I could brush off the dirt and start again. I can’t thank you enough for staying on me. And today, I can proudly say that I’m a college graduate! Also, (LOL) I know that throwing out the trash when it is full is not a task to dread, it just needs to be done. I still have to pee before I do the dishes. TMI? So what! I know that though I’ll be 30 this year, it isn’t too late to pursue those big goals. (What I really mean is that I’ll be turning 25, for the 5th time.) And in your honor today, I will “hold a wall” for 5 minutes. LOL. What I’m saying is that I love you and Happy Father’s Day!

And last but most certainly not least, I want to thank the wonderful father of my daughter. Without you, I wouldn’t have our baby girl. I am so grateful for the wonderful father that you are. Our daughter loves her daddy so much, it truly makes me teary-eyed quite frequently. She loves you because of the love you show her. I love to candidly watch you 2 do your daddy-daughter thing. She wants to tear apart your most valued possessions just like you did to your dad as a kid. Ahem…payback! It’s okay, I’ll get mine, too. You play such an unequivocal role in her life and I’m so blessed to have you as her daddy. She is becoming more and more like you everyday, and I can say with confidence, I like that idea. One of the most important things I believe to be true is that one of the most important values you can give your daughter is to show her mother, me, love the way you do. She is watching, and learning and one day when she’s all grown up, THAT is the kind of love that she will KNOW she deserves. I see single moms struggling to provide the love of their children’s fathers for those who are not present and have to thank God every day that you have never once considered side-stepping your fatherly duties. Your role in her life is not one that I can replicate, nor would I try. The way that you have taken care of me goes above and beyond my expectations and I know neither of us will let our daughter ever settle for less than just that. Thank you, honey. You are an amazing father to our daughter. You make me proud. I love you. Happy Father’s Day!

And, a very Happy Father’s Day to all the daddies out there! God bless.

I’m Graduating!

So, I never thought it would take me this long to get here but it did. Seven years I’ve been after a two year degree. I once aspired to learn a trade and make that my livelihood…no more. There is nothing wrong with that, I just decided I needed more for me. I’ve spent a number of years putting me on hold for one reason or another and at those times in my life I made multiple attempts to get somewhere in terms of education…see, I haven’t graduated from anything since kindergarten. THIS IS A BIG HUGE DEAL TO ME. I’ve made some poor choices in life but they are lessons learned that I wouldn’t ask to redo had i a choice. Other unforeseen and unavoidable hurdles have popped up along the way but that’s life! I’m no giver upper…can I say that? Well, I’m going with it. When I’ve got my back against the wall with nowhere to turn, I still do, and make a way. I have now in my possession the most beautiful gift God could have granted me with: my daughter. As a parent, I know there are no excuses for falling short of my obligations and that means doing all I can to give her the world for in it are opportunities but in today’s world they appear to be hidden treasures. Who am I to not give her the tools necessary to find such treasures? She didn’t ask to be here but I know what I have to do to make her want to be. I’ve got to make a future not only for myself but for her. I cannot wait to see what her future unfolds! I am so grateful for where I am and even more grateful that I know this to be a milestone, not a last stop on my journey. I am so incredibly blessed and cannot thank enough God and the people who have been my motivation. My family has kept me accountable. My enemies, though I don’t know that I have any immediately, keep me aware of the fact that I have to strive for better, ALWAYS. My intention is and always has been to do something good with the knowledge that I earn. Yeah, I’m a hippie, and yeah, I wanna save the world. I, in my eclectic personality am predictably unpredictable…and I like it that way. I walk carefully on the wild side. HA! I am but a small spec in this world, though I know a few who I mean the world to. It doesn’t get better than that. THAT is why, I will always work my very best and never settle for less. I’m not on a high horse, believe me, I’m quite humbled. There is much I don’t have, but so much more I do. I can’t help but be overjoyed knowing I have the most important things in life that money cannot buy. Knowledge is such a powerful thing. I can’t wait to gain more. I never want to stop being a student. I don’t have to have a degree in everything, but to maintain my forward momentum, I will never stop learning; never stop evolving as an individual. When you gain knowledge, you gain the world. I cannot take these things with me when I leave this earth but I plan to leave my mark. This quote by C.S. Lewis has nothing and yet everything to do with what I’m talking about; “You don’t have a soul, you are a soul. You have body.”  Love and peace, all! Today I get to shine! (Uh, wait, I do everyday…my middle name is Sunshine for goodness sakes!) Pictures to come later!